had i tweeted

4:27pm Just got to PATH. Lil already in kitchen w/ mountain of tomatoes, mushrooms and onions. Chopping ahead!

4:30pm Found a sharp knife in a haystack of dull ones - score!

4:37pm Going to town on onions. They're the ones doing the crying.

4:40pm Benne's here. He's killing tomatoes.

4:45pm Watch out, 'shrooms! You're next.

4:47pm FUUUUUUUdgesicles! I'm bleeding.

4:51pm Sliced off tip of left ring finger. Better dump those mushrooms.

4:53pm Oozing blood. Applying pressure. Lil refuses my offer to resume cutting.

4:57pm Applying bandages. Slapping on latex glove. Back to work.

5:07pm Manning the stove. Love the smell of grilled onions.

5:23pm Grilling red bells. I feel my heartbeat in my fingertip.

5:32pm While I was busy messing with my finger, Lil and Benne chopped everything in sight. Assembling quesadillas.

5:47pm Putting out juices and plates and desserts.

6:03pm Serving dinner. Beef tacos with quesadillas and plenty of frills - lettuce, tomato, grilled onion, guac, sour cream, cheese. Residents seem pleased.

6:37pm Sneaking a quesadilla in the kitchen. Mmmm... que bueno.

6:57pm Packing leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

7:12pm Picking up groceries at Trader Joe's. Really into lemon cookies this week. Still feel my heartbeat in my fingertip.

7:42pm Home. PJs. Contacts out. Glasses on.

7:48pm FUUUUUUUUzzy navel! Tried to replace bandage but reopened wound. Bleeding resumes.

7:53pm Squirting wound with contact solution. Neosporin + fresh bandage = good enough.

7:58pm Google "cut off fingertip." Infection... nerve damage... AMPUTATION!

7:59pm Googling Kaiser Urgent Care. Closes at 9pm on Sundays.

8:02pm Out of PJs, into car, onto Kaiser Urgent Care.

8:11pm Wrong parking lot. Freaking out.

8:12pm Praying. Freaking out. Praying.

8:17pm Urgent care doesn't do lacerations. Per nurse's instructions, walking down dark alley toward ER. Anticipating mayhem, gunshot victims and crying babies.

8:29pm Checked in and waiting to be called. It's surprisingly quiet. Reading "pray" section of "Eat, Pray, Love."

8:37pm Now waiting in a different waiting area. Doesn't smell like a hospital. Resume reading.

8:52pm Now waiting in an exam room. Lots of machinery and equipment on the walls. I feel like I'm on the set of Grey's Anatomy.

9:07pm Doctor looks like Jesse Williams. His ring finger is occupied. (Yes, I checked.) My glasses are fogging up.

9:09pm Hot Doc examines my wound. There's not much to be done... because it's so minor. He offers to put a big bandage on it. I accept. It'll be good for sympathy.

9:11pm Feeling sheepish about coming to the ER for a cut on my finger.

9:12pm Hot Doc claims to have treated patient with even lesser injuries. Claims someone came in with a paper cut. I feel better.

9:14pm Hot Doc offers tetanus shot. Why not. He begs off to treat someone with an actual injury. Starting to wonder about my copay for ER visits.

9:17pm Friendly nurse comes to shoot and bandage me. She's been working since 11am. She's been a nurse for 2 years. She loves her job.

9:19pm Wearing a ridiculously large bandage. I ask for extras to take home. Gotta make that copay count.

9:23pm Waiting at the "check out" line with my discharge papers. How much is this overreaction going to cost me?

9:26pm $100??!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUckleberry Hinn!

9:29pm Stupid google search results.

9:56pm Back in PJs. Having tea and lemon cookies. Arm sore from tetanus shot. Heartbeat in finger tip.