A couple of weeks ago, I received a hand-written letter from my 96-year old grandfather in Taiwan. His handwriting was shaky, as is my Chinese reading comprehension, but I was able to make out that the Christmas card I sent was one of the first he received this year, and that he went into some detail about his foot infection. At the end of the letter, he wrote "Now I really hope that you..." I couldn't make out what it was that he'd hoped that I'd do, but I knew it was important because he emphasized it with red lines. I scanned the letter and emailed it to my brother for a better translation. My brother confirmed the parts about the foot infection. My brother also explained that my grandfather's hope was that I would have babies; not entirely surprising given his previous advice.
I thought about writing back. My Chinese writing skills are virtually non-existent, and the words I could manage without a script -- "happy birthday," "happy new year" -- did not fit the occasion. I thought about writing back in English. I thought about copying Psalms from my Chinese Bible just to have something to send in reply. I felt frustrated that I could not communicate with my grandfather, who I know to be smart and opinionated and to have lived through some very interesting times. I felt embarrassed that I had so willingly and carelessly permitted the atrophy of my first language. For all that I thought to do, I couldn't decide, and so I did nothing.
Sunday morning, I received an email from my brother. Grandfather had passed away. I went to condole with my parents; I showed them Grandfather's letter. They poured over the words, caressed the page indented by Grandfather's handwriting.
I wish I could properly eulogize him, but I leave that to people who knew him better. I'm sure there's so much more to him than I could even imagine, but for now, it is enough to know that he received my Christmas card, that he had a foot infection, that he wished for me a family of my own.
Thank you for the letter, Grandfather; rest in peace.
2 comments:
Hey chik,
This is so beautiful. Perhaps this is not the comment you were expecting, but I am so moved by this last interaction with your grandfather. The simplicity and candidness is very touching. I love looking at things my parents hand-wrote, thinking about how their hands touched the paper.
My condolences to you and your family. May your grandfather rest in peace.
i agree, this is really beautiful. what a sweet eulogy. God bless your family as you remember him together & in your own ways too
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