As if we haven't had sufficient reminders throughout 2009, December brought further confirmation that even clean-cut, seemingly self-controlled men with picture-perfect lives cheat on their wives, sometimes with a rather unsanitary number of women. Once again confirmed is the truth that "there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open." (Luke 8:17)
As the full scope of the "indiscretion" or "transgression" is revealed in the coming days and weeks, it is nearly impossible not to discuss the matter, to judge the man, to express concern for the lives devastated as collateral damage.
There is, however, an opportunity to have a different type of discussion - between husband and wife, between significant others. While it is easier to speak as spectators to a news story, it is far more fruitful to personalize the possibilities. What would it do to me if you, my husband, cheated? Would divorce be on the table immediately? Who would move out of the family home? What would it do to our kids and their sense of esteem and morality? If you, my wife, are unhappy in our marriage, what would I beg you to do in lieu of having an affair in secret? What are other options? What can we do now to prevent that?
Share honestly, unleash your imagination about the repercussions, weep over the potential ruin and devastation. Then do everything possible to strengthen, save or repair the relationship. Because talking about such things after a betrayal is not only too little, but too late.
