I joined a gym. Now I have access to all sorts of machines and equipment, 24 hours a day. That last detail is really important because there are times when I jerk awake in the middle of the night, and all I want to do is hop on a treadmill or work my deltoids.
The gym is its own world, with its own set of rules. There are the obvious ones. Don't stay on a machine for 2 hours when others are waiting. Don't leave your towel and gym bag and water bottle all over the floor. Wipe up after yourself. Then there are the less obvious, unspoken ones that I, for one, believe should be strictly enforced. My personal addendum to the posted rules:
Thongs are wrong. The whole point of being at the gym is to move rapidly and create friction with your parts. Thongs are especially wrong when you're a male aerobics instructor and an entire class of innocent people can't help but notice the sweat tracks on your backside.
Apply makeup after the workout. Foundation + eye shadow + blush + perspiration = swirly colors. Impressionism belongs in museums.
Apply cologne after the workout. Your sweat is stink enough. Don't make it worse.
Learn to read headphones. If you speak to someone wearing headphones and he/she removes them to listen to you, chat away. If he/she listens to you but keeps the headphones in, wrap it up ASAP. If he/she keeps the headphones in and squints and gestures and points to the headphones to suggest he/she is unable to hear you, stop talking and scram.
Swallow. I'm nearly certain this rule is only necessary at gyms frequented by immigrant Asians, but do not -- doooooo NOT -- hock loogies into a cup while you walk/jog on the treadmill.
3 comments:
absolutely loved this. it's all so true!! you never fail to make me laugh
what is it with our people and spitting. is there a deep hatred of swallowing your own fluid?
I think that impressionism is a life style. As such, I will continue to apply make up before working out.
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