shame, shame, i know your name

Earlier this week, my parents and I boarded a bus on our way to Yangmingshan. All of the seats were taken; nearly all the ones in the rear were occupied by chatty university students.

Back in the day, when I was a school kid growing up in Taiwan, young 'uns gave up their seats to the elderly. That's the legend, anyway. So as the bus continued its jerky procession through the streets of Taipei with my nearly 70-year-old parents swaying on their feet, several people looked to the university students to do the honorable thing. But nobody said anything. So none of the students did the right thing. Some pretended to doze off while others continued chatting.

As the bus screeched to a halt at the first stop, my mom nearly fell into the stairwell by the back entrance. I admit, that upset me. I turned to the students behind me and asked, at a volume audible by the entire bus, "How about one of you young people yield a seat?"

For a brief moment, everything froze. The bus, the conversations, the bird song, the street noise. Everyone held their breath and stared as if I had just opened my trench coat and exposed my bits. In that suspension of time, I thought, "Oops. I'm being very American. You don't confront people in public here."

But shock and silence quickly gave way to shame and embarrassment, two things that always get your way in Chinese culture. The students rustled papers and rucksacks. Their confused eyes darted between the people standing nearby, unable to determine who was to receive the vacated seat. There was my mom, clinging onto a pole for dear life. There was my dad, who looks younger than his years because of his smiley appearance and because most of his white hairs have fallen off. Then there was me, looking 7 months into the blessed state thanks to a bellowing shirt I bought off the street for $100 NTD (or 30 U.S. cents).

My mom stumbled toward the open seat; my dad declined the offer of another. As my mom sat down with an audible sigh of relief, she caught my eyes and nodded. I've never seen her so proud.