en route

The last time I traveled on China AirLine ("CLA") was in 1996. My immediate family took an extended trip to China, Hong Kong and Taiwan. That trip was a long time ago and somewhat of a blur, but other than wretching during one of the flights, I remembered my encounters with CLA were rather pleasant.

12 years later, I'm waiting to board my 1am CLA flight to Bangkok. Determined not to check any luggage, I had acquired and filled many 3-oz. bottles and squeezed everything into a quart-sized baggy. I wanted to land in Bangkok, get through customs, meet my friend and get this party started.

I was dozing in the waiting area at LAX - oh, what fun I always have at LAX! - when two CLA reps approached me. They were in uniform and had probably used more than 3 ounces of hair gel per person to achieve their uniformedly shellacked, spiked, anti-gravity hairstyle. They spoke in choppy but rapid English. Long story short, they wanted me to check my carry-on bag. Half asleep, I protested, but was not able to put together any coherent reasons and did not have the presence of mind to argue with them in Chinese. They tagged my carry-on and accosted their next victims.

I spent the first few waking hours of my 14-hour flight fuming about my hijacked carry-on. There was so much bin space and other passengers had been permitted to carry on luggage of similiar size. I was seated near (too near) a wailing toddler and the toilets. The foot-rest at my seat was loose and kept falling on my shin. I was not provided the complimentary eye-mask/socks/toothbrush/toothpaste set. The lady seated behind me positioned her legs just so to prevent me from reclining my seat. I reached the inescapable and only rational conclusion under the circumstances: CLA was out to get me.

Then I fell asleep. The beauty of sleep is that it cures much of the delirium and paranoia that result from sleep deprivation. When I woke, the flight attendants seemed helpful and nice; they gave me a cup of instant noodles, water, pillows, whatever I requested. Then they served porridge (my favorite!) for breakfast. As it turned out, it was actually quite convenient to be somewhat near the toilets. And when the lady behind me finally used the facilities, I reclined my seat all the way back. (Take that!) I then enjoyed ａcouple of free movies.

I will still have to deal with baggage claim when I land in Bangkok, but that now seemed a minor inconvenience.  Maybe CLA wasn't out to get me after all.  Next time I encounter a conspiracy to annoy and inconvenience me, I'll nap in response.