attitude of gratitude

Reading over journal entries from the past year knocked the wind out of me. At the beginning of 2006, I had no inkling how it would end; I hadn't a clue even mid-way through the year.

But a pattern emerged: tension, frustration, confession, submission, surprise. Different things have been hard to deal with over the course of the year, and I'm not proud to admit that usually, either fight or flight sets in. I try to fix the problem or sedate myself; I run from the tension and from God. I get tired, frustrated, hopeless. I go home, smelling like pigs but finally ready to submit to the Father who I know is, at the very least, better to me than the others I'd found. And He meets me on the way with unexpected extravagance. My faith in Him has yet to be proven blind or misplaced; it's usually just too small. This happens again and again and again. At least I'm learning: my pre-submission detours are fewer and farther between.

Following Jesus hasn't made me an optimist. But it has made me a realist. After walking, hiking, climbing a few tracks with my Lord and Savior, I look back, and the view takes my breath away. The reality is that God is faithful. Even in the midst of the hard things, my glass is not merely half full. He is my portion; my cup runneth over.

Happy New Year, y'all.