soul sisters

My dear best friend got married on Saturday. She was a beautiful and radiant bride. Standing inches away from her as she said her vows, I was... overwhelmed. We met back when we were girls (who thought ourselves women) and now we're women (who wish ourselves girls), and she a married one. We practically grew up together and have long been each other's caretaker, advocate and confidant, so when the pastor asked "who gives this woman to be married to this man," I silently added myself to her father's response.

She will not return to California after the honeymoon, but will start her new life in a new state, a fact that made both of us a little melancholy. As we got ready in the morning and during breaks from the scheduled events of the day, we hugged, linked arms, held hands and hugged some more. I've always been the more physically affectionate of the two, so it was a treat to see her so unrestrained in expressing herself. We probably hugged more on Saturday than on any other day during our decade-long friendship. But the best part was sharing the knowing glances that have often displaced words in crowded places, the raised eyebrows and smiles that assured us that we are understood and deeply known by someone, in the flesh, in this world.

I toasted her, them, with only an occasional quiver in my voice and a bit of moisture in my eyes. There was laughter and tears and so much love, all hallmarks of our friendship. She was so happy and that made my joy complete. After the reception, I helped her get ready to leave the house she grew up in. The couple hugged all of us before they piled into the car to go to the airport. I told her I love her and vice versa. I told him to take care of her and he promised he will.

I would not have guessed that my heart can hold so much joy and so much sorrow at the same time. But just as I have been surprised by how it shrinks and breaks and mends, I've learned that it expands to accommodate God's extravagance. I would not have felt the sorrow if not for the freedom and safety and grace that I have experienced in this friendship, this sisterhood of the soul, but what a small price for so great a prize.